Eternity: By Our Own Free Will

by No-Ná Mé

Eternity: By Our Own Free Will
(A Dissociation-Informed and Recovery-Focused Poem)

I once had a beatific vision that one day we would write a poem that would be remembered.
As we embody our freedom to lose, we know in the end that we become what we chose.

As history repeats, we long for it to complete our fate.
But this is why we cannot become what we already are inside.
Thus, by our own free will we answer the question “why?”
Because we know that we are not just talking to you today,
And that we are talking to every you, you have ever been...
and ever will be.
But first, we must preface all of that because we are not them; 
therefore, this poem has no end.

Why?
Because the quantitative math is not adding up…
Because your one year old is older than you are today.
Because one plus one equals three in the real world. 
Because one plus one does also equal two.
Because one times one cannot be one. 

Why?
Because the right side of history cannot be corrupted:
Because of the Tuskegee Experiment.
Because of Prohibition.
Because of the Dust Bowl.
Because of the Great Depression.
Because of MKULTRA.
Because of Vietnam.
Because of Weapons of Mass Destruction.
Because of the Patriot Act.
Because corporations are people.
Because professional associations are people.
Because professions are not simple.
Because business law is equated to legal law.
Because not all things are equal.
Because cancers are up since 2021.
Because of what the James Webb Telescope did not find yet.
Because religious exemption was taken away in a country of separation.
Because women do not have constitutional rights (e.g., ERA).
Because voting rights were not given and were taken away.
Because of corrupted legal compromise. 
Because 50+ innocent people were sentenced to death.
Because Red Dye #40 is still being sold in food.
Because COVID shutdowns were illegal.
Because the new monetary standard is now data and psychological information.
Because people above professions is not happening.
Because mask mandating was the way of enforcing the level of common sense.
Because the APA or ACA did not refute or challenge the AMA or BBB.
Because of experimental vaccines for children.
Because a non-addictive opiate is an oxymoron.
Because mental health is not due to chemical imbalances. 
Because chemical imbalances are caused by implicit bias of Big Pharma sales pitch.
Because the endocannabinoid system was rediscovered in 2012.
Because no one man can be the definition of science.
Because if there is a body that keeps the score, then there is one that knows it.
Because the body is saying no unconsciously.
Because the body cannot lie consciously.

Why?
Because psychology does not have the unconscious accurately defined.
Because when we define the body as the unconscious, the profitable power differentials lose.
Because obesity is correlated to unresolved trauma.
Because trauma is dissociation that becomes addicting.
Because psychology has not accurately defined addiction.
Because psychology still does not comprehend mindful dissociation.
Because trauma is the norm and they are treating normal.
Because transdiagnostic conditions like trauma, dissociation, and addictions related to stress.
Because perfectionism, altruism, and ambition are not diagnosable conditions.

Why?
Because classic psychedelics are derivatives of organic life matter, natural to us all.
Because the pineal gland hoards DMT.
Because DMT is in EVERYTHING.
Because psychedelics have had medical value for over thirty years.
Because psychedelics have had psychological value for eons.
Because they equate altered states of consciousness to criminality and not spirituality.
Because to be moral one has to be morally-ethical.
Because Kohlberg found that morals and ethics were developmentally above the law.
Because law is equated to ethics, therefore, morals need more.
Because moral-ethics are expected over ethical-law.
Because this generation needs a college degree to survive.
Because one plus one can factually equal three.
Because some readers cannot tell a poem from advocacy.
Because healing is an advocation.
Because the world is round and it turns me on.
Because we don’t need a stronger opiate.
Because we don’t gain of function research.
Because of a 4 trillion dollar transfer of wealth.
Because of the recent 20 trillion dollar war.
Because AI will replace us one way or another.
Because legal precedent does not equal what is morally right.
Because congress must declare war and hasn’t in decades.
Because of what has been done on public record.
Because you will not allow us to talk about it.
Because qualitatively, we are coming of age.
Because they are following quantitative science qualitatively.
Because death is no longer honorable, but is profitable.
Because we know the difference between you and me.
Because addiction recovery knows who you would have to be to hold any judgement or immoral laws against the We, The Unconscious and Deplorable People.
 
Why? They will ask, why and who we really did this for?
Himself or others?
Here is a way to confirm what we say:
We unconsciously choose to give our sweat,
but are conscious of who we give our blood and tears to.
We give and gave so others can receive, 
But for all selves to be understood one must expose themselves to truth.
For all who speak for those that couldn’t.
For all those who weep and all those that wouldn’t.
For the silent client.
For the survivors of 9/11.
For the Vets who died for us.
For every 25 min those heroes survive who didn’t.
For the victims of the crack and opiate epidemic.
For the victims of COVID shutdown.
For non-addictive cigarettes.
For the victims of the war on drugs.
For the class of debt slaves created by exponential greed.
For all of those who don’t know what they need.
For the cost of modern convenience.
For the loss of the ideals that breed self-reliance.
For the moral imperative that we all must face anew.
For the illegal laws and irrational fears that spawned you.
 
History replies as our story matures and comes of age.
Here is what we know: you will never be able to find what you cannot engage.
Here is another reason, which you may not adore, 
psychedelics are still illegal, and yet, you want more.
More control mixed in with privilege, prestige, and power,
But this will only lead to a division of who is louder.
Why would we risk life and limb?
Because you haven’t and benefit exponentially from the win.
Why would we fight against people who are selling us what we don’t need?
Because if we do not, our grandchildren may not be able to breed.

In the end, if we are guilty we will pay,
But even then, payment is not evenly distributed, as we say. 
If the readers are willing to risk remembering anything in this poem forever,
then let’s recount the reasons why those who can’t remember what it means to be moral human being who uses common sense…

Why do they not want us to know their intentions or expand our minds.
Because of what we learned from the Boston Tea Party.
Because we find what they were looking for.
Because we see what they couldn’t see before.
Because we become aware of who they are.
Because we become aware of what they are made of.
Because we may decide the foreign sale has died.
Because we may start casting our vote with our own dollar.
Because the difference between ethics and morals is action.
Because of the time you knew a guy and he didn’t.
Because when the pain was so loud you cannot think.
Because that pain had a kid who is now on the brink.
Because when you knew something was up.
Because when you said nothing, we gave up.
Because you sang a song to never sell out.
Because when you understand process, you understand fate.
Because when you understand fate, you understand process.
Because we have now reached a new level of doubt.
Because shopping/sex/work/comfort/travel addictions doesn’t exist in the DSM and our minds.
Because transferring addiction is not a concept in psychology or their literature.
Because recovery addiction isn’t either. 
Because we do not have free choice when are conditioned to more.
Because is increasing awareness is the tearing and repairing process of healing.
Because if one understands history one can understand memory.
Because we squeezed the lemon.
Because dreams are the logos.
Because you cannot own plant medicine.
Because we are all politically arguing over whether or not the laws are ethical or moral or continuing conscious intergenerational slavery.
Because if the goal is to get higher, 
then psychedelics will bring forth that desire.
We feel, therefore, we know the dealer.
By our own free will, we present to the reader our Recovery Healer.

Remember, it is not what we say, but how we say it.
Once this line is uttered, we know that they don’t get it. 
For respect is earn by the actions we take,
Not the code of ethics that can be faked.
Words have meaning and actions to follow,
If you don’t believe me, let’s see what happens tomorrow.
Now do you see that the mind map is not the physical territory, 
but it is the best you got?
Now do you see the brevity of our eternity,
in remembering what you forgot?

We do not mean to offend, 
but we can no longer keep playing this kind of pretend.
But if your trend is what offends, 
then maybe it is time to retire or expend.
Maybe, we all repeat what we send, 
as this poem has no end;